i know these words by heart
I have never been a huge poetry person. I mean, I like it enough, but I am much more into fiction. But I do have a favorite poem. My uncle is a big fan of Stanley Kunitz, and that’s how I found out about him, and then I took a poetry class years ago, and I developed a deeper appreciation for his work.
One of his poems always stands out to me. It is something that I always come back to–I can’t hardly even describe it. It’s one of those things where I want to say, “look at THIS line!” but I want to say that about every line.
So I’ll just share the whole thing with you.
by Stanley Kunitz
I have walked through many lives,
some of them my own,
and I am not who I was,
though some principle of being
abides, from which I struggle not to stray.
When I look behind,
as I am compelled to look
before I can gather strength
to proceed on my journey,
I see the milestones dwindling
toward the horizon
and the slow fires trailing
from the abandoned camp-sites,
over which scavenger angels
wheel on heavy wings.
Oh, I have made myself a tribe
out of my true affections,
and my tribe is scattered!
How shall the heart be reconciled
to its feast of losses?
In a rising wind
the manic dust of my friends,
those who fell along the way,
bitterly stings my face.
yet I turn, I turn,
exulting somewhat,
with my will intact to go
wherever I need to go,
and every stone on the road
precious to me.
In my darkest night,
when the moon was covered
and I roamed through wreckage,
a nimbus-clouded voice
directed me:
“Live in the layers,
not on the litter.”
Though I lack the art
to decipher it,
no doubt the next chapter
in my book of transformations
is already written,
I am not done with my changes.